The lesson Scott taught me
JUNE 25, 2014
“Hello. I’m calling because Scott Ross was in a car accident today. He didn’t make it. You were one of the last people he called, and I’m wondering if you have contact information for his family.”
The voice on the phone said something to that effect and my mind went to the newscast I had seen just minutes before.
Car accident in the canyon.
One fatality.
Green car that looked like Scott’s, but it couldn’t have been Scott’s.
A few weeks earlier as I was headed to my office on campus, I saw a familiar brown leather satchel ahead of me. Scott was back for the summer. We had been in grad school together, and it was great to have him back on campus. I caught up with him and we started to fill each other in on the last year. He had been in Glasgow, embarking on his creative writing career. His dream had been to study abroad and to really dedicate time to his writing. He was on the cusp of fullness.
We went to my office and talked and laughed. I may have cried a little bit as we discussed what the previous year had held. He told me about the peace he was feeling toward his life. He felt assured that he was doing what God would have him do, and he felt such happiness. As we discussed my life and happenings, he told me to trust my heart, no matter what. He was so quick to believe in me and my abilities, always encouraging me to follow what I was feeling. After an hour or so, I realized he was probably on his way somewhere when I intercepted him. He told me he had had a class, but he felt like it was more important to catch up, so he skipped it. When we parted, we agreed to get together soon.
That hour we spent came back to me again and again as I sat in disbelief that Scott was really gone. He had called me the day before the accident to get lunch sometime. I hadn’t called him back yet.
It was the first time I’d lost someone so close, so suddenly. Instantly, life seemed very fragile. The day after we got news, I spent the afternoon with a mutual friend. We passed the day reminiscing about all the good times we’d had. I wanted to be with something who knew Scott and who felt his loss in the same way I did.
One of Scott’s favorite and most influential authors was James Joyce. He particularly enjoyed The Dubliners and “The Dead.” The main character in “The Dead” is Gabriel Conroy, a conflicted man who is well intentioned but rather paralyzed within his intellect and apparent lack of passion. I am glad to know that although Scott loved this story, he was the opposite of Gabriel. Scott was determined and aware of who he was. He lived his life with passion and hope. He was fully optimistic about his future and he sought to be a good person. I believe he attained that. He lived a beautiful life and always managed to make life pleasant for those around him. I often think of Scott, especially this last week of June, which marks the anniversary of his death. He taught me to take time for people and to follow my heart. I will always be grateful he skipped class so we could talk. We will be remiss one day if we fill our lives with being busy at the expense of connecting with the people in our lives.